Colin Quinn Quotes

Everybody’s got a different sense of humor. It’s just different styles.

I write all the time – I write poetry, I love to write.

I would say most comedians have a very cynical worldview of the way the world can work. It’s almost like if you didn’t, you couldn’t be a comedian.

When I look back now I realize I was such an obnoxious kid but, you know, I went to schools like you, like a public school in New York so compared to the anarchy that was going on there, they really wouldn’t – I wasn’t like a bad kid. I saw people come in and punch the teachers.

I think I identify more with the smart guy, but most people might take umbrage at that. I like to think of myself as a real thinker, but I suppose people might beg to differ.

My name has zero value.

I always wanted to write as much as perform.

Humanity is a crazy contradiction. I accept us for who we are. We’re not that great. Every time we take a step forward we go back to the same primitive behavior. We’re meant to be this way. It’s not our fault, it’s just who we are.

The thing that drives me crazy is when comics say ‘I have low self-esteem.’ No you don’t. You’re standing on stage asking people to pay. You don’t play an instrument. You want people to pay to hear what’s in your mind. You don’t have low self-esteem. You might have other problems.

If I had to give up everything else and keep just one aspect of the job, I’d have to keep writing because I love it. Yes, I enjoy performing, too. But I couldn’t give up writing material.

A weird sort of awareness set in, like, ‘Wow. My standup isn’t just separate from everything else I do anymore.’ With Twitter and Face book, everything is universal that everything everybody says gets seen.

With comedians, you have that understanding that we’re trying to get laughs.

It was tumultuous, it was crazy, but I would not trade it for anything.

He is very dry but also very funny… I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it’s not a good place for you to be.

For the most part, comedians are pretty friendly with each other. They always say they badmouth each other, but most of the time, they’re friends. We’re the only ones that can really stand our type of humor.

You can’t make money on Broadway. You make nothing. You maybe make like $1,350 a week after you pay out all the producers.

The only people who like to live alone more than comics are priests.

I like guy stuff.

That’s the beauty of being a comedian – it’s the one job you’re allowed to do that. We’re lucky. We’re really lucky.

I love people, I love studying people more than history. So whatever situation I see, then I look at, what were the people like, more than history itself.

I don’t know any comedian who tailors his act to his audience. Maybe people say they do, but I can’t even imagine them.

You know how it is with writing. You just write what you want to write. There’s no way to predict what is good or bad. You just do what you think is funny, and either it works or you’re finished. It’s impossible to predict anything.

Those early days of comedy are when you get addicted to it.

I’m just another guy who thinks he’s smarter than he is, in a long line of them.

I was a class clown.

I get the impression the English kings were witty, for some reason. I feel like all you had was your wit.

Marie Antoinette was funny, I’m sure she was just misinterpreted. You know the ‘Let them eat cake’ line. She seems like she was kind of funny, like a Chelsea Handler or Kathy Griffin type.

I think if you try to tailor your act to anybody, you end up with an act that doesn’t work anyway.

I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it’s not a good place for you to be.

The mistake that people make in stand-up is thinking they’re profound or they’re deep when there are so many people who have more worthwhile ways of phrasing things.