Johnny Vegas Quotes

I do need to explore my faith, because it has got lost over the years and it has been kind of tainted through experience. But I also know it’s enriched my life, my dad being a Catholic.

Comedy’s so subjective, and if someone comes to watch, doesn’t get it, doesn’t find it funny, then fine.

Being ‘Johnny’ was almost like an out of body experience. I thought he was just a character that I’d created and could quite easily step away from, but it was much more difficult than that.

I think it sort of dawns on you that if you’re not gigging constantly you’re not actually relevant. You may be relevant to a different part of the media now, to television commissioners and editors, but to a young live-comedy audience you’re not, really.

Up North you are holding your own. Everyone considers themselves a comedian.

People are always asking, ‘Where does Michael Pennington end and Johnny Vegas begin,’ and you’re going, ‘It’s not like that: it’s blurred right across.’

I’ve always said that with kids’ TV that people get stuck in it from drama school but that’s not fair because I know myself that when you go in creatively, kids are so much more open to ideas. You’re so much freer to mess about and try things.

I couldn’t be ‘Johnny’ in front of a camera in acting jobs and behind the camera I like to be ‘Michael.’ With directing, you can’t do it by halves. There’s a lot of reflection, and I have found that I, as ‘Michael,’ thrive on it. It’s lovely coming home and feeling that stuff from a day’s work as myself.

There’s this idea that it has to be made in London. But we’ve got everything up here, and if you’ve got comics who are gifted because of where they’re from, you shouldn’t drag them away from that natural resource.

‘Johnny’ was a coping mechanism who could take those things which could have ordinarily destroyed me, by tweaking my past and throwing it back out there, getting laughs from things that would have otherwise upset me.

I always say that the stand-up world is the arena of the unwell, and it is.

I sang ‘American Pie’ a lot in my stage set. It had a knack of uniting an audience in a sing-along. It’s a clever song about American history but wrapped in a fantastic tune.

You can’t be a proper comic unless you’ve been out on stage and felt the fear.

I used to attract a lot of feeders. I’d be quite happy to be locked in someone’s flat and fed liquidised burgers.

I came from a very loving home, had a happy life with no great aspirations, but going to the seminary changed me. There was a chunk of my childhood missing. Once I’d realised it wasn’t for me, I still felt a tremendous pressure to continue for fear of letting everybody down.

My forte is playing drunks down the ages. When my agent rings me about a role, I don’t ask what the part is, but what century it’s in.

I had a massive amount of self-belief when I did stand-up.

I’ve got little ankles and a bit of a belly, so it makes me look rather an egg on legs.

The idea of being on TV 24 hours a day and people seeing the real me… No.

You get people who come to London, sever links with where they come from, and then when they need people, there’s nobody there. To feel like you can’t go back home would be a horribly sad place to be, as is mistaking fame for genuine love and affection.

Never try to be witty with U.S. airport officials. It’s always lost on them and you’ll find yourself being put back on the plane.

Baldness is visually enough of a stigma as it is without a big sweaty bloke on stage pointing it out.

I am very proud of what ‘Johnny’ achieved in stand-up comedy because he believed entirely in giving an audience the best kick he could. But he was someone who was quite detrimental to my health, both emotionally and physically.

I also want to return to doing stand-up. I’ve become frightened of live audiences. This is a really telling sign that I need to go back on the comedy circuit again.

From a certain age, I sort of accepted myself for what I was. And although to other people it was like nothing ever goes right, I had a really nice attitude that I’d inherited from my parents, and especially from my dad.

I struggle as a writer, and I’m convinced that if I was at school now, I’d be termed as having ADS. Two minutes and I’m drifting.

Writing a book about yourself is like therapy, and you go ‘Oh My God, that’s the reason that happened.’ Writing about it, you’re forced to really examine things.

I believe that Britain is becoming more class-conscious, and I quake at the very idea of Old Etonians ruling the world again.

My first holiday to San Francisco in 1998-99 was supposed to be a two-week vacation but I ended up staying five weeks and nearly didn’t come home.

Being behind the camera is where I feel comfortable. I’ve found something that I feel I, as ‘Michael,’ can be as confident in as ‘Johnny’ was on the stage. It’s great being part of the creative process. You’re right at the start of an idea, and you get to see it all the way through till the end.

I use very few muscles at the best of times.

‘Johnny’ was always a lone wolf when he got on stage. Him against the world, whereas suddenly, when I got into acting, people were relying on me.

My work’s never been accepted by my family, but it’s something I’ll always carry on with.

You always hear people saying, ‘I hope I’m not turning into my dad’, but I’d be honoured if I became half as decent a bloke as he is.

I am a big fan of smelly cheeses but the rest of the family don’t seem to be particularly keen on them.

I’ve got too much respect for stand-ups to call myself one.

This autocue was obviously written for someone else and I’ve been brought in at the last minute.

I thought I could play the hellraiser and then put ‘Johnny Vegas’ back in his box. I found popularity through self-destruction. The more you damage yourself, the more people are drawn to you, and that can be quite addictive. It is not a lifestyle you can maintain.

Some comics are in it for what they can get out of it. Others are in it for a love of comedy. I think those that are in it for a genuine love of comedy find each other within the circuit and become friends.

Class still matters in Britain today.

I actually enjoy being heckled; it keeps it interesting, and I think it is a nice feeling for people once they have left the show.

There is something more spiritual to us than what we are on this earth, but how you access it I’m not sure.

They look outside the windows of their apartment in town and realize they’re not living in a terrace anymore. This is a room full of dreamers who like to go to London for a day.

The cheese board is my big treat at Christmas that I have to deny myself during the rest of year.

I’ve always been looking for other people’s approval.

I avoid any kind of organised trips as that’s one of my bugbears.

There’s lots of stuff about me being a fan of Cliff but not being gay. Which suggests that he is, but he’s not. Anyway, this is Channel 4, let their lawyers sort it out.

Had I become a priest, the sermons would’ve been electric!

With stand-up you’ve just got that one chance. Audiences can be quite fickle.

We had a week off in the middle of shooting, but as soon as everyone stopped, we all went down with six different types of flu and other unmentionable diseases.