Norm MacDonald Quotes

Here, we’ve compiled a list of the best Norm MacDonald Quotes. Let’s look at these pieces of wisdom. We definitely have something to learn from them!

1
Compared to politics, I think sports is funnier, because it’s inconsequential. And politics can be real important and all that. The more pointless something is, the funnier it is, you know?
Norm MacDonald
2
I’m a huge sports fan but have no interest in minutiae. I don’t remember who won Super Bowls five years ago or listen to sports talk radio.
Norm MacDonald
3
I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.
Norm MacDonald
4
Letterman is very intimidating because he’s so funny, so you have to be really prepared. Also, he’s a little squeamish about certain things, so you have to always be on guard to please him.
Norm MacDonald
5
I don’t really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world.
Norm MacDonald
6
I never had any interest in sitcoms or motion pictures or anything like that.
Norm MacDonald
7
Compared to politics, I think sports is funnier, because it’s inconsequential. And politics can be real important and all that. The more pointless something is, the funnier it is, you know? And the more grave or important things are… You know, some comedians can get this disease where they get serious all the time.
Norm MacDonald
8
You can’t love your team without hating another team.
Norm MacDonald
9
Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.
Norm MacDonald
10
I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end, you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world.
Norm MacDonald
11
All my life’s about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn’t cost very much money.
Norm MacDonald
12
With the computer and stuff, the difference between a rich guy and a poor guy, to me, is nothing. Because I don’t like big houses, I don’t drive a car, so you know, I just live in a small apartment and I have my computer, which is really cool.
Norm MacDonald
13
I’m not gay, so I don’t know much about Broadway musicals.
Norm MacDonald
14
I have always loved Las Vegas. It’s a traditional place for lounge comics to perform, and I love that.
Norm MacDonald
15
A lot of people think I’m difficult to work with. It’s not like I really want to do that much stuff, so it doesn’t really matter. I guess I’m somewhat difficult when it comes to comedy.
Norm MacDonald
16
I never do impressions, but I probably should. People like that stuff.
Norm MacDonald
17
Whenever I do theaters, I don’t like ’em. I don’t think they’re right for stand-up.
Norm MacDonald
18
I like to do talk show appearances where I get to just be myself, and I do stand-up where I can completely be myself. That’s what I’ve always loved the most, of anything.
Norm MacDonald
19
I don’t like sports where it’s like, you watch a guy on a motorcycle flip or something, then another guy does it, it looks exactly the same, and then at the end one guy gets higher points! It seems so arbitrary; I don’t know who’s ahead ever.
Norm MacDonald
20
I’ve been offered political shows before, and I don’t know anything about politics and I feel uncomfortable making political opinions – there’s consequences to them. I often think I’m wrong, so I really don’t like getting in political or religious discussions because of the giant possibility that I might be wrong.
Norm MacDonald
21
In terms of merit, sports has mathematical statistics. That’s how you know who the best player is.
Norm MacDonald
22
I don’t have any ego about it, but I find there’s not a great work ethic in show business. A lot of people are in it to make money, and coming from stand-up, you have to work so hard because almost nothing works, and if you lose the audience for three minutes, you’re dead.
Norm MacDonald
23
I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
Norm MacDonald
24
In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
Norm MacDonald
25
If you’re watching a comedian on television and he’s making a political point, I would say he’s gotten too serious.
Norm MacDonald
26
I sort of have open invitations from a lot of people to do TV. But it’s very hard for me to do roles in sitcoms and movies because I’m not a great actor, so if the material isn’t good, I’m in torment while I do it.
Norm MacDonald
27
I would love to stay at SNL forever. But you can’t stay in the same place. People think you’re a loser.
Norm MacDonald
28
I just like doing standup, that’s all I’m interested in or good at.
Norm MacDonald
29
When I was a kid, everybody that played golf was an old man. Until Tiger showed up, they weren’t in very good shape.
Norm MacDonald
30
I love writing – it’s the best. But I really hate collaboration.
Norm MacDonald
31
My dad had this thing – everyone in Canada wants to play hockey; that’s all they want to do. So when I was a kid, whenever we skated my dad would not let us on the ice without hockey sticks, because of this insane fear we would become figure skaters!
Norm MacDonald
32
When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that’s a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.
Norm MacDonald
33
I miss seeing real comics, Shecky Greene and Buddy Hackett, those types. I like straight stand-up, talking about the Olympics and why I feel obligated to watch them. ‘Why am I watching archery at 4 in the afternoon?’
Norm MacDonald