Witty Quotes

Here, we’ve compiled a list of the best Witty Quotes from famous authors such as Psy, Mary Quant, Barbara Park, Jon Richardson, Aaron Sorkin. Let’s look at these pieces of wisdom. We definitely have something to learn from them!

In Korean, my lyrics are witty and have twists. But translated into English, it doesn’t come over. I’ve tried writing in English, just for me, but it doesn’t work. I’ve got to know everything about a culture, and I don’t.
The fashionable woman is sexy, witty, and dry-cleaned.
Mary Quant
My senior year of high school, I was voted ‘Wittiest.’ So, several years later, I decided to try my hand at writing humor to see if I could be witty enough to make some money.
Barbara Park
I’m neurotic by nature, but I’m wary of becoming more of a play than a comic – you don’t want people coming to see a man having a breakdown for two hours. I’d prefer them coming to hear my astute and witty observations.
Jon Richardson
I had a lot of survival jobs. One was for the Witty Ditty singing-telegram company. I was in the red-and-white stripes with the straw boater hat and kazoo. Balloons. Even when you’re sleeping on a friend’s couch, you have to pay some kind of rent.
Aaron Sorkin
There is still a lot to be said for the well-made, witty, clever, three-act comedy.
Terry Teachout
I’ve carried witty banners against laws that would curtail my freedoms.
Jess Phillips
Bill Gallagher’s new version of ‘The Prisoner’ is an enthralling commentary on modern culture. It is witty, intelligent and disturbing. I am very excited to be involved.
Ian Mckellen
One movie I think is just terrific is ‘Bernie,’ with Jack Black and Shirley MacLaine. That was a great surprise to me – so witty, so entertaining, a true story, and I’m not a great Jack Black fan, but he’s great in it. I think it’s a gem.
Robert Osborne
You can’t just be crass without being witty. Angry crass is horrible.
Ali Wong
I was so amazingly witty when I had the No. 1 movie, you have no idea. People laughed at every single one of my jokes. Then when I hadn’t had a hit for three or four years, some of these same people pretended they didn’t see me when I walked in the room.
Rebecca De Mornay
‘Guardian’ journalism itself will remain what it has always been: thoughtful, progressive, fiercely independent and challenging, and also witty, stylish, and fun.
Katharine Viner
Nothing is more witty and grotesque than ancient mythology and Christianity; that is because they are so mystical.
Karl Wilhelm Friedrich Schlegel
My parents have always had a great sense of humor. And I really appreciate good humor in songs, witty lyrics that sneak up on you and then you listen again, and say: ‘That’s so funny.’ John Prine’s songs have always had this really witty tone.
Kacey Musgraves
Years and years ago, I did a game based on ‘Hitchhiker’s Guide’ with a company called Infocom, which was a great company. They were doing witty, intelligent, literate games based on text.
Douglas Adams
There’s a real emphasis on being witty in Scotland, even in crime novels.
Denise Mina
My instinct is to surround myself with the company of wise, witty, wonderful women, and I have a great bank of female friends of all ages.
Rachael Stirling
Everything deep is also simple and can be reproduced simply as long as its reference to the whole truth is maintained. But what matters is not what is witty but what is true.
Albert Schweitzer
You can pretend to be serious; but you can’t pretend to be witty.
Sacha Guitry
No woman can be handsome by the force of features alone, any more that she can be witty by only the help of speech.
Kin Hubbard
A woman can be sexy, charming, witty or shy with her shoes.
Christian Louboutin
Antonin Scalia was witty, warm, funny, and full of life. He was not only one of the most important justices in the nation’s history; he was also among the greatest.
Cass Sunstein
Zimbabweans are so smart and witty and able to weave together tons of situations and experiences into terminologies that are just utterly original.
Danai Gurira
If someone makes you feel wrong-footed, you’re unlikely to find them witty.
Rosamund Pike
Today there are millions of people making stuff and putting it into the world: that’s become part of our identity and it shouldn’t be limited to people who fancy themselves writers, or who are particularly witty or talented.
David Karp
Such is the nature of men, that howsoever they may acknowledge many others to be more witty, or more eloquent, or more learned; yet they will hardly believe there be many so wise as themselves.
Thomas Hobbes
Be completely honest – have you ever met someone who you thought was truly clever or interesting or witty who wore fawn?
Claudia Winkleman
Every Brit I met had the best sense of humor. They’re hilarious: very dry and witty.
Merritt Patterson
I love Stephen Fry. His tweets are witty, poignant, and intelligent.
Annabelle Wallis
If you fight angry, you make a lot of mistakes, and when you fight a sharp, witty fighter like me, you can’t make mistakes.
Floyd Mayweather, Jr.
Usually when people see me, they see me as more of the soft-spoken one rather than being the witty, smart-tongued character.
Amy Acker
The cliches that circulate in the German media about Joachim Sauer are a total fallacy. The fact is that he’s his own man. He’s witty, he’s profound, he can be incredibly funny, and he’s an extremely bright guy.
Reinhold Messner
Twitter has restored my faith in humanity. I thought I’d hate it, but while there are lots of knobheads, there are even more lovely people. It delights me how witty and friendly most people are.
John Simm
In major studio scripts, the girls are very similar. They’re all witty and hot. I’m more of an oddball.
Riley Keough
My goal was becoming the next David Copperfield. I learned how to be a performer by emulating him as a kid – his formula of just talking to people onstage, being free to improvise, being charming and witty with a crowd, together with great, beautiful magic.
Michael Carbonaro
After New York, Chicago is my favorite city. It’s just this great mix of Europe and America. The friends I have there are smart and witty and fun.
Gad Elmaleh
Nowadays three witty turns of phrase and a lie make a writer.
Georg C. Lichtenberg
I love John Updike immoderately. I am profoundly shocked that he has gone because he was, for me, the greatest American writer of the second half of the 20th century. He was also a gracious, charming, and witty man.
Justin Cartwright
I like quips. I like whiffs of cynicism and I think they can be witty. But I don’t really know where wittiness is constructive.
Matthew McConaughey
A woman may have a witty tongue or a stinging pen but she will never laugh at her own individual shortcomings.
Irvin S. Cobb
Music has shaped men’s fashion, and transposed in a playful and witty manner its riding or military heritage. It is difficult to figure out who leads, but music and fashion are connected genetically.
Hedi Slimane
I’m not witty.
Claire Denis
One cannot be always laughing at a man without now and then stumbling on something witty.
Jane Austen
Judges ought to be more leaned than witty, more reverent than plausible, and more advised than confident. Above all things, integrity is their portion and proper virtue.
Francis Bacon
Everyone remembers the pop-quiz hotshot bit from ‘Speed’ because it’s extremely funny, and it’s really smart and really witty. And the notion that action movies can have dialogue that pops just as well as the explosions is something that I hope more people continue to remember.
Graham Moore
Never try to be witty with U.S. airport officials. It’s always lost on them and you’ll find yourself being put back on the plane.
Johnny Vegas
I most enjoyed doing ‘Whites,’ a show BBC2 cancelled after one series. It had some beautiful, witty, charming scripts and was one of the most positive ensemble pieces I’ve done. I thought the end result was really special. I’m still confused about why it didn’t last longer.
Darren Boyd
In fact, to gull a fool seems to me an exploit worthy of a witty man.
Giacomo Casanova
A word of kindness is seldom spoken in vain, while witty sayings are as easily lost as the pearls slipping from a broken string.
George Dennison Prentice
I had a quick family. Very witty. I learned my rhythm from that.
Randy Rainbow
My mother was a terrific force in my life. Wartime-generation woman, hadn’t gone to university but should have done. Was very funny, very verbal, very clever, very witty.
Ian Hislop
Camels are wonderful animals. Witty, intelligent and sensitive.
Robyn Davidson
I never cared for fashion much, amusing little seams and witty little pleats: it was the girls I liked.
David Bailey
There weren’t any funny people in sports or the Spanish club. All the really creative, witty, funny people that made your belly hurt were in the theater program.
Sean Hayes
Now, where does my comedy come from, like, as a human being? Yeah, when I was a kid I was dyslexic and had to go to special-ed every day and felt stupid about that and got very witty to defend myself.
Dax Shepard
I really started to enjoy Instagram more recently because it’s something that shows people what I’m doing and what I’m going through, but it’s so simple. I don’t have to come up with something witty; it’s just a funny photo, and you can be as artistic or as plain Jane as you want.
Alex Morgan
Many a witty inspiration is like the surprising reunion of befriended thoughts after a long separation.
Karl Wilhelm Friedrich Schlegel
I say funny stuff in my lyrics to make people laugh, but it’s all in the seriousness of the music. I’m just being witty.
Rich Brian
A transposable aphorism is a malaise of the urge to be witty, or in other words, a maxim that is untroubled by the fact that the opposite of what it says is equally true so long as it appears to be funny.
Umberto Eco
Conquered people tend to be witty.
Saul Bellow
I guess I’ve kind of recognized what my worth is and what my specific brand of humor is. And that’s not necessarily being the guy who’s super witty and saying a joke every second. I’m the guy who you throw in a bizarre scenario, and I’ll play it as real as possible.
Dave Franco
It is easier to be a lover than a husband for the simple reason that it is more difficult to be witty every day than to say pretty things from time to time.
Honore de Balzac
To be witty is not enough. One must possess sufficient wit to avoid having too much of it.
Andre Maurois
Howard Zinn was magical as a teacher. Witty, irreverent, and wise, he loved what he was teaching and clearly wanted his students to love it, also.
Alice Walker
I wouldn’t even dare read the Torah, let alone attempt a witty observation on the Torah.
Charles Grodin
They sit there in committees day after day, And they each put in a color and it comes out gray. And we all have heard the saying, which is true as well as witty, That a camel is a horse that was designed by a committee.
Allan Sherman
Witty, adventurous guys really rev my engine.
Miranda Rae Mayo
The witty woman is a tragic figure in American life. Wit destroys eroticism and eroticism destroys wit, so women must choose between taking lovers and taking no prisoners.
Florence King
There is an element of seduction in shoes that doesn’t exist for men. A woman can be sexy, charming, witty or shy with her shoes.
Christian Louboutin
John F. Kennedy brought style and charisma to the White House and a first family that captivated the country: a handsome, witty president, an elegant first lady, and two adorable young children.
Kitty Kelley
My father could be very witty, even if the humor was always on the darker side of irony.
Maurice Sendak
Wit is the appearance, the external flash of imagination. Thus its divinity, and the witty character of mysticism.
Karl Wilhelm Friedrich Schlegel
As a general rule, when you comment on a blog, make it knowledgeable or witty and, most of all, relevant to that post – then, simply sign it with your name and your book title. Resist the urge to brag or sell your book.
M. J. Rose
You are wise, witty and wonderful, but you spend too much time reading this sort of stuff.
Frank Crane
A lot of comics fly by the seat of their pants, and they pride themselves on being witty, quick, and off-the-cuff. That’s not my show. I wrote a show, and I want to do the show I wrote. I’m not interested in what the audience has to say.
I like my man to be witty; he needs a sense of humour and needs to be extremely well-mannered.
Esha Gupta
I’ve always liked older women. One sad thing about being my age is that there are no older women. I used to amuse my mother’s friends even at five or six with witty turns of phrase. Somehow, I just knew how to be funny.
Howard Jacobson
A large nose is the mark of a witty, courteous, affable, generous and liberal man.
Cyrano de Bergerac
Most of my mannerisms come from my Mum, who is quite a funny, witty, chatty person. My Dad was very shy.
Jason Bonham
I have little brothers and sisters, and they annoy me a lot, but I love them so much because they’re so smart and witty.
Letitia Wright
I might’ve been witty, but I didn’t have a shtick. So, I never considered myself a comedian.
Scott Adsit
There’s no possibility of being witty without a little ill-nature.
Richard Brinsley Sheridan
The characters can’t be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be character witty.
Dylan Moran
If it were not for the company of fools, a witty man would often be greatly at a loss.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor.
Francis Bacon
This is one of his most human and most amusing and witty novels. The characters are very Indian. I decided that I wanted to do a comedy, so this was just the right one.
Ismail Merchant
Stephen Sondheim is calculus for actors. The words are witty and brilliant and profound but complicated.
Marc Platt
Phil Hartman was brilliant, and Dave Foley is a really funny guy. Phil Hartman was actually even funnier offstage than he was onstage because he would say nasty things. Dave Foley’s very funny, very witty guy, very quick.
Joe Rogan
People who can’t be witty exert themselves to be devout and affectionate.
George Eliot
Facebook, I’m learning, is like a man. You have to be smiley and fun and witty but sometimes you have to play it cool and just ignore it for a couple of hours.
Claudia Winkleman
Courtship is to marriage, as a very witty prologue to a very dull play.
William Congreve
I’ve worked a lot with Noah Baumbach, and he doesn’t make it easy to like his characters, but the stories are funny and witty and there’s an edge to that kind of humanity.
Ciaran Hinds
Next to being witty, the best thing is being able to quote another’s wit.
Christian Nestell Bovee
Though lust do masque in ne’er so strange disguise she’s oft found witty, but is never wise.
John Webster
I often feel I’m a disappointment to people because they expect me to be the guy in the books. When I sit next to someone at a dinner party I can see they expect me to be quick and witty, and I’m not at all.
Bill Bryson
I like witty people, people who can be witty on the spot.
Rob Brydon
It’s a weakness of mine to forget what it is I’ve just been talking about so that when people make witty allusions to it, I stare at them open-mouthed, not knowing what they’re talking about.
Howard Jacobson
I think I hang out with some pretty witty people, but we’re never that funny.
Bobcat Goldthwait
It was great fun to hang around the Beatles. They had amazingly fast minds, and they were incredibly amusing and funny and witty. They were great. There was a very high energy surrounding them.
Pattie Boyd
The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.
Robert Orben
Queen Elizabeth is reserved when she meets strangers – but with friends and family she can be very witty.
Princess Michael of Kent
Female movie stars from the pre-Code era of Hollywood, like Mae West, could be so raunchy and witty before they were edited. Sometimes they could go further in their wit than we go now.
Jane Krakowski
Whether I’m writing a novel about a guy mourning the death of his father or whether I’m writing a show about people killing each other, you want to hear characters speak and be funny and witty.
Jonathan Tropper
I’m hopefully touring with Colin Baker next year in Perfect Strangers. I have performed with Sylvia Simms in poetry and music evenings. I would love to do those for the rest of my career – they are so fun and witty.
Louise Jameson
I just wanted to make good music that people related to me and said ‘Yo that guy makes good music. When he gives us an effort, it’s good music behind it. It’s great lyrics, it’s witty punchlines, it’s great metaphors.’
Honestly, I had no idea what to do on Twitter when I started. I didn’t follow it enough. Slowly, though, I started to realize what I’m okay at. Like, I’m just not particularly witty.
David Grann
If there’s ever a woman who’s smart, funny, or witty, people are afraid of that, so they don’t write that. They only write parts for women where they let everything be steamrolled over them, where they let people wipe their feet all over them.
Teri Garr
I am attracted to intelligence, a witty sense of humor, an adventurous outlook on life and spiritual awareness about one’s self and the world.
Tanit Phoenix
Television has an awful lot to do with the Kennedy mystique and the fact that he’s frozen in people’s minds at the age of 46, and he was handsome and personable and witty and charming.
Robert Dallek
I know Toby Jones very well, we’ve done yoga together in the past and get on very well. He’s a fantastic actor, but also extremely good company, very witty, and smart.
Lesley Sharp
I seem to get into situations that make people laugh, but I don’t consider myself that funny of a person. I’m not witty. I’m kind of slow in conversations. I’m not that articulate with jokes. The first time I made stuff and screened it for an audience, I was surprised what people were laughing at.
Nathan Fielder
Will & Grace’ was my favourite show growing up and retains a special place in my heart, not least because it was such a refreshing and witty insight into gay life. The older me loves ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm.’
Joe Lycett
Wilde is an invaluable acquaintance. Often, in situations where I am required to appear witty, I simply steal large chunks from his works and attempt to pass them off as my own with minor modifications.
Alexandra Petri
I didn’t even realize I was writing songs – I thought I was just being witty and sarcastic.
I think Irish women are strong as horses, incredibly loyal and for the most part, funny, witty, bright and optimistic in the face of devastating reality.
Fionnula Flanagan